Be Yourself and Slappa da Bass
I feel like when I talk to someone, and we get to the part where they ask what do you do? That’s when I shut down and run. ME. Why are you so interested?! What do YOU do!? Save children in Africa? No? Then get the fuck outta my face. Starvation is still a thing and just because we haven’t brought it up recently, doesn’t mean that it hasn’t still been a problem in that area of the world. So why don’t you take your employed ass over to a kitchen and cook something and use all your knowledge to send that food all the way from wherever you mouth breathe to the children and the teens, and the adults that could use an extra bowl of rice or a fucking crème brúlee.
Or maybe I could. I hope they like spice. I make a killer hummus. Spicy. Thick. Could add some extra olive oil in the middle if that’s what you’re into. Can also make it not spicy for all the bland lovers out there. Okay, I’m being an asshole to myself. My hummus isn’t bland. The non-spicy is just as good. And this is where I’m going to stop talking about my damn hummus. I might go make some right now actually. At 3 in the morning. Wonderful.
You wanna know something random? I like The Kardashians. I think they are wholesome people who have a giant family that gets bombarded by media every single day. And know what else? They have “trusted” groups of people in their family like friends, and lawyers, and people who work in their stores and I just want to yell “YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF YES MEN!” And the ones who laugh I will wink to and the ones who get offended, I know are guilty of simply nodding their heads up and down to whatever Kim said that day or whatever Kourtney suggested that evening. So, ladies, when you need me, shoot me an email. How many kiss asses do they deal with every day? I really wonder. Because I like them and I want them to succeed at everything they try or take on and it seems like having a team where there are a couple of kiss asses might just sabotage their vision. It’s cowardly. Being a kiss ass. Just say it if you mean it. Have a freaking opinion. Everyone’s got one. About 99% are valid. Maybe less. Not sure there. Point is, don’t fear speaking your mind because it might be the difference between saving someone’s life or their work and you’ll feel better knowing your honesty made that happen. Don’t follow the sheep.
I focus a lot on music. Because music was there when my friends weren’t. When I didn’t have friends, I had music. And the beauty of it is that it never made me answer any questions. It always just spoke to me. All the time. Just on and on and I could re-listen to the things that I loved hearing. Music never demanded anything from me, so we have always had a good relationship.
Sadly though, I don’t play an instrument. Or anything like that. I own two basses. One five string red beauty and one four string I bought and this random place for 250 bucks that I named Planck because I was thinking of a plank of wood that this bass used to be and then it was transformed into something that creates sound. And it lights me up inside.
That would be Planck’s constant. If you wanna write a song about it, I’ll pretend to be surprised. Or it might just be one of the most kickass things ever.